Monday, December 26, 2005
My Mother - Part One
My mother, Hildegarde Rose, was born in Berlin in
1912, the second daughter of Marie and Isador Frankel.
Being Jewish wasn’t a big part of their lives. Like many Berlin Jews who’d lived there for decades they felt that they were completely integrated. They were friendly with their neighbours and those they worked with.
They had a very comfortable life, with few worries.
That comfortable, middle-class existence wasn’t to last long.
By 1930 Hitler had been elected to power and Nazi storm troopers celebr
ated their electoral victory by smashing in the windows of Jewish shops and restaurants.
My grandfather was thrown out of his job and died within a few months of that.
Both my mother and aunt married in those early years of the thirties. My aunt moved to Czeckoslovakia to be with her husband (photo left) and my mother stayed in Berlin with her's but realised very quickly that she had ‘married in haste’.
The years after Hitler became dictator in 1933 were extraordinarily tough and my grandmother, mother and aunt were trying to get to England. Somehow, my grandmother got permission to come and arrived here in 1937.
My mother was then left, at 25, on her own in Germany.
One morning a year later my mother received a letter in the post. It was from the police asking her to come to the police station the following day to have her passport marked with the Star of David and to pick up the yellow stars that she would then be required to wear on her clothes to mark her out as a Jewess.
She put on her coat, picked up her handbag and walked. She walked to the train station and got a train through Germany and then Holland, praying every time her passport was checked. She then boarded a boat for England.
She had no idea if the British would let her in. She had, so far, been refused entry and England wasn’t as easy to get into as it likes to make out. She decided that if she wasn’t allowed into Britain she would throw herself overboard rather than return to Germany.
24 hours later she alighted onto British soil and was given permission to stay.
Posted by Zoozan ::
3:15 pm ::
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Friday, December 23, 2005
My Mother - Part Two
Article from the Daily Mail Newspaper - 20 August 1938.
"The way stateless Jews from Germany are pouring in from every port of this country is becoming an outrage. The number of aliens entering the country through back door is a problem to which the Daily Mail has repeatedly pointed"
My mother was one of those who arrived by ‘the back door’ and had she not, she would have been unlikely to survive.
Hildegarde Rose
She arrived in England, and speaking not a word of English, made her way to her mother’s rooms in Chiswick. She knew her mother wasn’t well - it was one of the reasons that she and her sister had insisted that she make the journey to England without them. But she hadn't realised how ill her mother was. My grandmother had cancer but had hidden from her daughters how far advanced her illness was.
My mother nursed her for the next few years. There was no welfare state to look after people at that time, so my mother had to find work, which she did as a seamstress in a clothing factory.
My aunt wrote from Czeckoslovakia on a fairly regular basis and my mother would read the letters to my grandmother, but some months after the outbreak of war no more letters arrived and my mother feared for her sister and her family. Because her mother was dying, she continued to pretend that letters were arriving and she would read made up greetings from her sister to her mother until my grandmother’s death.
It wasn’t until the Russians liberated the Auschwitz concentration camp in 1945 that my mother knew what had happened to her sister. She and the rest of her family had died of typhoid and dysentery.
By the end of the war my mother found that she had no family left. All aunts, uncles, cousins were gone. Though she wasn't a Zionist, the only way she could commemorate their lives was to plant trees for them in the newly formed Jewish state of Israel.
Liberation
When the Soviet army reached Auschwitz in January 1945 it found only 7,000 inmates.
Nearly 60,000 had been forced to march west in freezing conditions. Those who collapsed or fell behind were shot. In all, some 15,000 died on the death march.
A Soviet soldier described the inmates as "skin and bones", louse-infested and barely able to stand. "Some were crying, some were laughing," he added. "Some tried to kiss us, but it was uncomfortable - you didn't want to get infected".
The things I saw beggar description... The visual evidence and the verbal testimony of starvation, cruelty and bestiality were...overpowering... I made the visit deliberately in order to be in a position to give first-hand evidence of these things if ever, in the future, there develops a tendency to charge these allegations merely to 'propaganda.'
Source: General Dwight D. Eisenhower's letter to General George C. Marshall dated April 15, 1945.
Posted by Zoozan ::
11:04 pm ::
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Thursday, December 22, 2005
The Monkey's Paw
When I was 11 years old my night-time prayers were always the same
Dear God,
Please look after Mummy, Daddy, my sister and my dog
and please could you make my grandma go away
thank you
My Grandma, on my father’s side, lived with us and had done since my grandfather, died. Every day my sister and I would have to go into her room and kiss her good morning before we went to school, and we didn’t like it one bit.
The room always had the sickly sweet smell of boiled senna pods and old lady. But it was her shoes that really made us feel squeamish – they were black lace ups with broad inch and a half heels and they were completely misshapen where her bunions had pushed the leather out. But worse, was the way she treated my mother.
According to my grandma nothing my mother did was ever good enough and, though my mother used to laugh it off and say it wasn’t important, I knew it upset her. Even if it didn’t upset her, it upset me. No one was going to have a go at my mum and get away with it, so I asked God if he could take care of it for me.
Then one night I thought God had taken care of it for me.
It was 3 o’clock in the morning and I was fast asleep when my mum and my big sister came into my room and told me that daddy was dead. After that I don’t remember much except at some point sitting in my bedroom and looking at a spot in the rug for ages and feeling numb.
After our family doctor had declared my father dead he stayed long enough to give my grandma some tranquillisers because she had become extremely upset. At about 5a.m she went to her room to have a rest and when my mother went to wake her a few hours later she couldn’t. My grandmother had taken all the tranquillisers and a few sleeping tablets for good measure. So for the second time, and just a few hours later, the undertakers were back and taking another body out of house.
The only possible explanation to my 11year-old self for this nightmare was that God was answering my prayers. He was getting rid of my grandma for me, but the price I had to pay was that my dad had to die first so that she would take an overdose.
It worried me for ages then I started to forget and years later when I thought about it I, of course, realised that it wasn’t my fault and that his high cholesterol and the 60 cigarettes he smoked a day were the real villains of the piece.
Posted by Zoozan ::
7:49 pm ::
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Chanukah
I spent a lot of last week sorting through old photos to put together an album for one of my friends for her 50th birthday. As a short chronicle of her life it worked out really well, and it made me want to record some of my early life.
When I was a little girl, at this time of year we celebrated Chanukah not Christmas. Chanukah was my favourite of all the Jewish festivals because relatives and friends of my parents would give me and my sister Chanukah Geld (money) and my parents would buy us small presents for each of the 8 nights of celebrations.
The little girl in this picture is my older sister. My parents are on either side of her and the other couple are relatives from the States and between them my paternal grandmother (more about the evil old bat another day).
On the table is a Menorah (candle) and for each night of Chanukah another candle is added and lit, to commemorate a story that is recorded in the Talmud.
I was brought up in a Reform Jewish household, which meant that Judaism was practised in our house but some of the ancient orthodox customs had been ‘reformed’ to a more modern way of life. At least modern to when the Reform movement started, which I think was some time in the 19th century.
My father was really the religious mainstay in our household, and after he died when I was 11, we tried for a bit to keep up the traditions, but my mother's heart really wasn't in it. She hadn't been brought up in a religious household; had never kept Kosher or gone to synagogue as a child and she found it hard to maintain.
I left my religion behind many years ago, except for maintaining some of the food rituals that go with Jewish festivals. I still think of myself as a Jew, but only in a cultural sense.
This is a picture of me in my best angora hat for the holidays
I love the picture because of the way it evokes 1950s England
Posted by Zoozan ::
6:42 am ::
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Saturday, December 17, 2005
5 years on
Posted by Zoozan ::
4:03 pm ::
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Tuesday, November 15, 2005
The Office Christmas Party
Apologies to those of you who have seen this. As an HR person specialising in diversity training, this is particularly pertinent to me.
December 1st TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit barbecue. There will be lots of spiked
eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free to sing
along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to
light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done
at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis Human Resources Director
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December 2nd TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognise that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides
With Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on
we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who
are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no
Christmas carols sung.
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis Human Resources Director
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December 3rd TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA
Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the
Gifts exchange -- no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that
$10 is too much money.
Patty Lewis Human Researchers Director
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December 7th TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES:
I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from
The dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are
allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men;
each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the
gay men's table.
Happy now?
Patty Lewis Human Racehorses Director
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December 9th TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES:
People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
Play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan,"
there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."
Patty Lewis Human Rat Races
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December 10th TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES:
Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people! We're going to hold this
Party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the
table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get
salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes
have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.
I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Witch from Hell
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December 14th TO:
ALL EMPLOYEES:
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her
at the sanatorium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our
Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full
pay.
Terri Bishop Acting Human Resources Director
Posted by Zoozan ::
7:37 pm ::
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Monday, November 14, 2005
Life is good
I have this picture hanging up in my kitchen, it's by one of my favourite photographers -
my friend WDKY (I can add that now, that I've got his permission)
Posted by Zoozan ::
6:57 pm ::
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My mother, Hildegarde Rose, was born in Berlin in 
The little girl in this picture is my older sister. My parents are on either side of her and the other couple are relatives from the States and between them my paternal grandmother (more about the evil old bat another day).
